I guess its over...For real?? NO WAY?!?!? :(

4.5 years and its just over? Just like that? Hmm. Someone else? I dont know. Im very hurt tho. . . Let me break down the scenario and you please please tell me if im CRAZY!

My tire has been low for about 3 days and he told me to put air in it...well of course i didnt, being the wussy girl I tend to be with stuff like that I am driving home and get a flat with my kids in the car! I call him up...he is rude and hangs up on me!! He is mad at me!!! Lucky strangers stop n help me, and fix it right up, then i go home and he has attitude still. So i call him on it...i say what the hizeck! Why did you hang up on me in that stressful situation I needed you! He said its your fault for not listening to me and getting air and im sick of bailing your ass out. .... hmm... okay...NOW IM LIVID.

EVERYTHING that has been building up I just let it go and im not very nice...ill save you the details but i think i went over board...thats not really me to be all crazy like that but i really had no control ....the thin line between love and hate is so true...at that moment I felt like I hated him even tho I love him...if that makes sense...

well N E Ways...he puts his clothes on and leaves me. im devastated. he tells me this is it im not coming back. I act tuff and say fine. I IM him when he is wherever he is and he tells me i hold him back from being his self and from doing things he wants!!! Yet he never wants to do anything with me anymore and we use to be best friends, inseperable, and i feel like im on the outside looking in and im not welcome. i told him i get it, i dont want to be that chick that makes her man feel uncomfortable to be hiself ya know. ...

So now what? Well its 1am and im blogging and my bed is empty and my heart is broken. I think maybe I should toughen it up and let him be him and be free. I think that im not really his type, he doesnt want the same things i want in life, and im just not making him happy anymore. he use to prefer to be with me, now he does all he can to be away, and ive been doing my best not to say a word but its never good enough.

ugh i hate my life. i know he doesnt want me anymore and i have to let go and be strong but it is not easy. i miss him. :'(